Can you feel your heartbeat racing?
Can you taste the fear in her sweat?
You've done this wrong it's too far gone
These sheets tell of regret
I admit that I'm just a fool for you
I'm just a fool for you
Here is where we both go wrong
Tonight's your last chance to do exactly
what you want to
And this could be my night
This is what makes me feel alive
Makes you feel alive
Here is where we both go wrong
So tie me up and toss this key
'Cause for now we're living
In this moment that we both ignore the truth
It's all over!
It's all over!
I feel your heart against mine
So take a breath and close your eyes, eyes
Your lungs have failed
and they've both stopped breathing
My heart is dead and it's way past beating
Something has gone terribly wrong
I'm scared, you're scared, we're scared of this
I never thought we'd make it out alive
I never told you but it's all in your goodbyes
It's all in your goodbyes
Well, look who's dying now slit wrists from sleeping
with the girl next door
I always knew you were such a sucker for fate
It doesn't matter what you say
You never mattered anyway
never mattered anyway
In this moment that we both ignore the truth
It's all over
It's all over
I feel your heart rubbing against mine
So take a breath and close your eyes, eyes
Don't shake, I hate to see you tremble
tremble like you've lost your touch haven't you?
I'm so addicted
So addicted
Sunday, 11 July 2010
Lessons of the Heart
I learned a very hard lesson, a very long time ago. Do not mix friend groups, it will always end badly, even if at first it seems like you’ve successfully introduced friends to friends whether it be, work friends with uni friends or boyfriends to best friends it never works out.
There are many reasons why a person you love dearly doesn’t get on with another friend you love just as equally and I have lived through many of them. Whether it be your best friend telling you that you spend to much time with your boyfriend or your work friend trying it on with your uni friend and being hurt in the process of a let down. What is a girl to do. Well pick your event and guest list carefully as a cocktail of the wrong people can lead to disastrous consequences and highly likely, a hangover.
But what happens when you have to pick one over the other, even if it breaks your heart to say goodbye, would you do it to save a relationship over friendship or the other way around. In the past I’ve chosen a relationship over friendship and vice versa I looked at both people and how each of them affects my life and chose the one that would aid my happiness rather than prevent it. But that’s not to say that I think men or friends are disposable, I just look at how much damage can be caused to my social group and if a choice has to be made then I have no problem cutting that person out.
There are many reasons why a person you love dearly doesn’t get on with another friend you love just as equally and I have lived through many of them. Whether it be your best friend telling you that you spend to much time with your boyfriend or your work friend trying it on with your uni friend and being hurt in the process of a let down. What is a girl to do. Well pick your event and guest list carefully as a cocktail of the wrong people can lead to disastrous consequences and highly likely, a hangover.
But what happens when you have to pick one over the other, even if it breaks your heart to say goodbye, would you do it to save a relationship over friendship or the other way around. In the past I’ve chosen a relationship over friendship and vice versa I looked at both people and how each of them affects my life and chose the one that would aid my happiness rather than prevent it. But that’s not to say that I think men or friends are disposable, I just look at how much damage can be caused to my social group and if a choice has to be made then I have no problem cutting that person out.
Sunday, 20 June 2010
Riding The Downer
As you all know by now that being single has it's high and low points and until now I've been riding a wave of high since my biggest break up to date. But seeing my ex recently made me come crashing down. He, having been utterly destroyed since the break up, seems to have got over the depression that consumed him, while I was out celebrating my new found freedom. Now three months on I'm lonely, my friends schedules have filled and all I can think about is what my ex is doing (or who for that matter). I'm wondering is this normal behavior? or is this me being completely selfish? I was the one to end the relationship but now I'm sitting amongst the ruins that used to be the stronghold to our relationship, looking back at the good times and avoiding the bad. There are five stages of grief Denial, Anger, Bargaining, Depression and Acceptance these come around when something or someone leaves your life in one way or another, I have finally hit denial hopefully i can skip over the other three right to acceptance. Here's hoping x
Hot or Not
When your friend meets a man that you think is hot, what is your automatic thought?
Good on ya girl?
Damn he's fine?
That boy is mine?
Well a couple of weeks ago my friend met a man, a man that I already knew of. They happened to meet at an event that I had organized, got talking and had a lot in common. The following day, hangover in tow, she had her reservations aided by another friends instant dislike to the man in question. The issue was for her this man did not fit her type, you see my friend likes money and a rugby build aka a rich hunk, this man was neither of these, so when I saw him a couple of nights later on another drunken haze in The Port (My So - Called City) I regret to say some bad flirting was exchanged and an almost kiss, almost happened. The following morning I bumped into my friend and she told me she had been texting the man all week and was excited at my involvement at their hook up, Que guilt.
So here is the issue do I tell the friend about the almost kiss that never happened, would she forgive me for not owning up straight away and my genuine mis-understanding of her feelings. Should I let their textual relationship continue or should I mind my own business?
Good on ya girl?
Damn he's fine?
That boy is mine?
Well a couple of weeks ago my friend met a man, a man that I already knew of. They happened to meet at an event that I had organized, got talking and had a lot in common. The following day, hangover in tow, she had her reservations aided by another friends instant dislike to the man in question. The issue was for her this man did not fit her type, you see my friend likes money and a rugby build aka a rich hunk, this man was neither of these, so when I saw him a couple of nights later on another drunken haze in The Port (My So - Called City) I regret to say some bad flirting was exchanged and an almost kiss, almost happened. The following morning I bumped into my friend and she told me she had been texting the man all week and was excited at my involvement at their hook up, Que guilt.
So here is the issue do I tell the friend about the almost kiss that never happened, would she forgive me for not owning up straight away and my genuine mis-understanding of her feelings. Should I let their textual relationship continue or should I mind my own business?
Sister's Before Mr's
How often do you here the saying Bro's Before Ho's? How often does this phrase infuriate you! Men, yes all of you listen up, women talk yes, we all talk, mostly about you and how you generally fuck up. So when the saying Bro's Before Ho's passes your lips think carefully, there is probably a sister, daughter, mother, wife or friend sitting close listening in (where good at that see). The only reason you have decided to utter this phrase is because either a sister passed on your advances and your ego is now bruised or your to much of a pussy to go after the lady you like in fear of offending a "Bro". My advice to you is get some ball's.
Ladies, if you here this phrase uttered keep on walking and think Sister's before Mr's, find your girlies grab your drinky and dance all night!
Ladies, if you here this phrase uttered keep on walking and think Sister's before Mr's, find your girlies grab your drinky and dance all night!
Tuesday, 8 June 2010
To Escort Or Not To Escort
High Class Escort, Prostitute, Hookers or Whores are common names for women who sell sex for money. Now making this business as a career has interested me ever since I watched Julia Robert's in Pretty Woman as a young girl and then again when Billie Piper graced my weekday evenings as Hannah in Belle De Jour. What better way to make money than to do something you love for something you love more, sex and money. Leaving University with around fifteen grand worth of debt and only a piece of paper to show how I have spent the last three years of my life, is not something I'm proud of but the thought of clearing those debts by having sex is. I don't understand why there's such a big taboo around prostitutes, obviously I know that some women are forced into prostitution through drugs or heavy debt but what about the women that make the choice to be an escort? Being a high class escort you can earn as much as five, hundred thousand pound a year and thats half a million!
Having a small addiction to shoes and bags and life's finer things my student/coffee shop income does not cover this slight obsession I have with designers. So why not turn to something I love doing ... having sex? I could clear my debt, get my designer fix and have money left over to travel the world all by getting men to pay to have sex with me. It sounds so simple, I can understand how women turn to this line of career. There are over 12000 prostitutes working the streets of the UK and a large percentage of them are addicted to a class A drug and work in a very dangerous environment, legalizing prostitution would regulate the industry and keep women safe thus making it more appealing to enter this line of work. But is that a good thing? Obviously I'm very much behind making prostitution legal but I can see how making it legal will make prostitution come out of the dark. Everyone knows that men visit "massage parlors' or 'red light districts' and even go abroad to places like Amsterdam to get their fix legally but are the streets of Britain ready for legal whores? Thats something that only time will tell.
After some research I began to wonder is there a massive difference between a high class escort and a prostitute? Obviously there is talk of prostitutes being called escorts to make it more acceptable to society, but I do believe there is a genuine difference between the two, whether this is my own naivety or the views of others is up to you, but I believe that when you visit a prostitute you get high street and when you visit an Escort you get designer. Prostitutes get negative attention in the media where as escorts only appear once they have a book out or an article in Cosmo. I do realize that the whole industry is glamorized in the media and that in reality it takes a strong woman to put themselves in a quite frankly, scary situation but on the other hand does the glamour and money outweigh the possible dangers that come along with this kind of work?
Looking at this argument from both ends I feel that yes it is time for prostitutes to have a safe place to work and selling sex for money should be made legal as it is one of the oldest professions in the world, but will I be joining them for half a million and a touch of glamour, well you'll just have to watch this space.
Having a small addiction to shoes and bags and life's finer things my student/coffee shop income does not cover this slight obsession I have with designers. So why not turn to something I love doing ... having sex? I could clear my debt, get my designer fix and have money left over to travel the world all by getting men to pay to have sex with me. It sounds so simple, I can understand how women turn to this line of career. There are over 12000 prostitutes working the streets of the UK and a large percentage of them are addicted to a class A drug and work in a very dangerous environment, legalizing prostitution would regulate the industry and keep women safe thus making it more appealing to enter this line of work. But is that a good thing? Obviously I'm very much behind making prostitution legal but I can see how making it legal will make prostitution come out of the dark. Everyone knows that men visit "massage parlors' or 'red light districts' and even go abroad to places like Amsterdam to get their fix legally but are the streets of Britain ready for legal whores? Thats something that only time will tell.
After some research I began to wonder is there a massive difference between a high class escort and a prostitute? Obviously there is talk of prostitutes being called escorts to make it more acceptable to society, but I do believe there is a genuine difference between the two, whether this is my own naivety or the views of others is up to you, but I believe that when you visit a prostitute you get high street and when you visit an Escort you get designer. Prostitutes get negative attention in the media where as escorts only appear once they have a book out or an article in Cosmo. I do realize that the whole industry is glamorized in the media and that in reality it takes a strong woman to put themselves in a quite frankly, scary situation but on the other hand does the glamour and money outweigh the possible dangers that come along with this kind of work?
Looking at this argument from both ends I feel that yes it is time for prostitutes to have a safe place to work and selling sex for money should be made legal as it is one of the oldest professions in the world, but will I be joining them for half a million and a touch of glamour, well you'll just have to watch this space.
Monday, 7 June 2010
Can You Be Friends With An Ex?
Is something I have never had to worry about, as in past experiences ive never looked back. Until now. After recently going through a break up I gave my ex in question time to come to terms with our parting, after four years in love it was time to move on, but when is life ever that simple!
He, being what you'd call a "nice guy" didn't deal with break up very well and having me to be there for him all this time and then to leave in his position, quite suddenly is what you'd call a shock to the system. So how do you go about letting go of a person you loved and shared your life with for a long time, without absolutely destroying their world is something I still haven't discovered. The guilt that comes with being the 'breaker' is something I am still getting used to, the phone calls the texts and the IM's were at one point in my life, something I looked forward to but now dread, knowing that their hurting and the only thing that can make it better is you, but not having the will to help them is soul crushing. But then you have to look forward to a future where they're not hurting anymore and the reasons you broke up are the reason you've been able to move on with your life, into a much happier place.
When we broke up all I could think about was moving on I'd made my decision and that was that, but when I look back at what I left behind I wonder is it easier to get back into a relationship that you weren't happy in just to make life easier on the man you used to love? Now i know the obvious answer is no but when that person is just a mess and the only person that can help is you, where does the answer lie? Can you be friends with an ex? If so will that ex ever get over you of you stay friends or will you just end up back where you started ... in love?
He, being what you'd call a "nice guy" didn't deal with break up very well and having me to be there for him all this time and then to leave in his position, quite suddenly is what you'd call a shock to the system. So how do you go about letting go of a person you loved and shared your life with for a long time, without absolutely destroying their world is something I still haven't discovered. The guilt that comes with being the 'breaker' is something I am still getting used to, the phone calls the texts and the IM's were at one point in my life, something I looked forward to but now dread, knowing that their hurting and the only thing that can make it better is you, but not having the will to help them is soul crushing. But then you have to look forward to a future where they're not hurting anymore and the reasons you broke up are the reason you've been able to move on with your life, into a much happier place.
When we broke up all I could think about was moving on I'd made my decision and that was that, but when I look back at what I left behind I wonder is it easier to get back into a relationship that you weren't happy in just to make life easier on the man you used to love? Now i know the obvious answer is no but when that person is just a mess and the only person that can help is you, where does the answer lie? Can you be friends with an ex? If so will that ex ever get over you of you stay friends or will you just end up back where you started ... in love?
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