The Dating Game

Is something I have not played in a while, being thrust back in (no pun intended) and trying to remember the rules of practice is something that made me feel not only vulnerable but also insecure about my abilities not only as a confident, single woman but as an intelligent writer and film maker who used to play pro at this not so long ago.

After being introduced to Mr Long Drink Of Water, I noticed the shoes and then kept on walking because those shoes were bad. But a couple of weeks went by and having spent some time around him I moved on from the bad shoes to the good arse, beautiful eyes, OK hair and then back to those eyes! Thing is after two kisses I still hadn’t got anywhere and was left wondering how a woman with my knowledge had gotten into this position.

When looking for a man what do you first notice eyes, arse, shoes? For me it doesn’t just start with their shoes but their interaction with the fellow man, are they strong and confidant in a group, do they lead or do they shy away in a crowd? What will follow is my noticing of their shoes and if that’s good I work my way up! I like a man who can take the lead and yet keep up with conversation, I like a man’s man who knows how to play the game along with me and with this man in question was what I was looking for. Obviously there were changes that needed to be made and don’t get me wrong I know that was the wrong attitude to go for but you didn’t see that hair!

He was an authentic Newport Man and he could play the game, hold a conversation and keep up with me! What was wrong well to be honest I think it was me, whether I wasn’t his type or just didn’t interest him enough, I think I have a lot to learn because a lot has changed in the four years that I have been off the market and I think Mr Long Drink Of Water will be a lesson well learned and also re named as the one who got away.

When A Man Loves A Woman ...

When in love with a man and that man loves you, the thought of a woman coming in and flirting or even touching (in the most innocent sense) the man in question, would have in previous relationships made my blood boil. How dare some single woman attempt to green light my man! That was until I was that single woman, I am ashamed to admit that I kissed a man I knew was taken. Now don't get me wrong I don't make a habit of kissing red lighted men, especially when I know the other half of the light. But when he approached me and told me how much he wanted me and had for a while, I had a moment of weakness, now don't get me wrong I came to my senses rather quickly, sending him back to his half, but for a split second it was a rush of excitement knowing that he wanted me, knowing he was taken is what made me stop but that was also apart of the excitement. Later, reminiscing on our sexually charged kiss, a thought occurred to me that on some level I had been used, used by a man who should have known better. I discovered men like him give women like me a bad name not that if his other half found out it would be my name that would be tarnished even though he instigated the situation that unfolded. If he did want me surely he should have just put these thought's to the back of his head (or had a quick wank) and focussed on his actual relationship although I don't know how I feel about being spank bank material! Instead he acted upon his urges and potentially jeopardized his relationship with a journalist who writes a gossip column and a sex blog! Luckily for him I'm not one for dropping names so maybe this should be a lesson for Mr Red Light and hopefully a lesson has somewhere been learned, I know I've definitely learned red lighted men should be avoided even if they are good kissers! I do wonder though how many men and women have kissed behind their unsuspecting lovers backs and what percentage of those men and women have done it more than once?

Levels of Sexual Frustration, Attraction or Chemistry

Can women truly have friendships with men without any level of sexual frustration attraction or chemistry?

This question was put to me three years ago, just after my arrival to University, my response? Well it was one of anger and frustration, of course I have male friends that I have never had a sexual link to, but when answering this question I was very much in love with my then boyfriend and would never have looked at another man. The man who put this point to me all those years ago was single and hadn't been laid in a very long time and I just put it down to his sexual frustration. Now having lived the single life for the last couple of months this point came back to me when I realized that I had a lot of sexual chemistry towards my male friends and it wasn't because I wasn't getting laid and just needed sexual release (although I did go through quite a lot of batteries at that point). I realized that most of the men around me I had either kissed, flirted with or at the very least fantasied about! But what has shocked me is how men react to my flirting now that I am single, now don't get me wrong I like many other ladies flirt when red lighted (taken) I find its like window shopping on Bond Street. What I didn't realize was how the dynamics of the flirting game had changed, every word, wink, touch means far more because now it can lead to more in such a case of when one male friend (who is taken) asked me to follow him after a couple of drinks for a kiss behind closed doors ( don't worry I have learnt my lesson with guys with girlfriends). So with proof I can honestly say that yes in some cases you can be friends with a man and not be attracted in all cases those men are usually fugly! But in 99% of cases there has to be a level of chemistry to have the foundations of friendship, it's just when that friendship leads onto more.

Common Double Standards Of Society

Since recently joining the singleton club there is one issue that has bothered me and that is the standards of society regarding women and their sexual needs.

Can a woman go out and fulfill her sexual needs with out being labelled the answer is no. Many of my male friends go out on a Wednesday, Friday and Saturday night, bring a girl back fulfill their needs and send the lady in question packing! If a woman were to say do the same, she is named usually as a slag or a whore. I was told by one of my dearest male friends that its okay when a man does it as it just makes him more of a man, but when a woman does it she's then seen as easy. With my single days well and truly in motion I wonder if I have been called those things, the men around me are either wary of me or try it on and I believe this is due to my openness to discussing sex and my strong headed attitude, its in my nature and being a producer I feel the need to have a presence I am no wall flower and hate feeling unable especially heading into a vary male dominated industry. Now I am the kind of person that talks openly about sex, men and my love of cock! They are my three favorite things to discuss, now many people have issues with this as it's seen as rude or inappropriate yet if a man would do the same he would just be seen as 'being a man' yet if I were to do the same those label's would come into play. This makes me angry, angry that these sexist and outdated views still play a massive role in society. Women are very much on top of their game equaling men and even surpassing them in earnings, being able to vote and taking every challenge front on and by gosh do we look good doing it. Now don't get me wrong I am no man-hating feminist thats going to ask you stand in the streets and burn your bra, I love men, all I ask is that we be allowed to express our inner sexual desires without being labelled whores. Why Cant I go out as a single lady (hail Beyonce) fulfill my needs with a single man as a 21st century woman without being judged? I feel this issue will affect me for years to come, I want women to stand up and not accept this injustice thrust upon us not just by men but women also, if your happy, not hurting anyone (thats not to say a little BDSM is out of the question) and using protection where is the problem?